The Saturday Journal: It Is What It Is

He has a sign on his fireplace mantle that reads, It is what it is. 

He’s a cancer survivor. Like me. 

And I said those very words when I was diagnosed with breast cancer–August 2018.  

It is what it is.  

Neither one of us could have changed our diagnosis–no going back to the day before. The only way we could move was to move forward–one day at a time. And by God's good grace and mercy--we have.

Driving across one of the bridges in town, there was a man walking on the side of the road. It was one of the chillier fall days and he had a coat on–a cap.  And I watched as an oncoming vehicle drew closer to him and the man began shouting and making derogatory gestures with not one finger–but with both hands.  

And on that very same day, I drove upon a wreck–it had just happened and there were car parts and glass scattered on the highway–a car with sides crushed–ripped apart deep in the throes of a ditch–and people had gathered standing on the side of the road–two of them were children with a lady--I assumed to be their mother.  And a man was yelling at this woman.

What is wrong with people!!???

She was shy at first–this beauty–all of four years old.  She pushes her golden brown hair out of her face and says, ‘I had a birthday this week’. 

You did!? 

‘Yeah, I’m four years old.  I had a Hello Kitty cake,’ and she smiled. 

And I heard someone ask her mother–where do you live? 

‘Right now at the homeless shelter,' she replied.

And the stories keep coming from the hollers and hills–the story of a woman who lost eleven members of her family–killed in a mudslide.  And another–an older man–the storm took his mobile home–washed it away with all of his belongings. He now lives in his car. And he hasn't asked for much--just a Bible–a King James Version and the chaplains of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association made sure he received one.

She shared a little of her story with me–the sacred raw parts. She told me she was signing up for more hours at work–for extra income.  And on this night at the hospital they asked her to be on the night watch. I believe I was on suicide watch, she said. They won’t tell you that.  I don’t believe he was really thinking about taking his own life though.  I think he just wanted someone to talk to and I listened to him–coming from a woman whose own son committed suicide a few years back. 

What’s wrong with people?

They are hurting. That’s what’s wrong with people. 

Everybody is going through something.

Not too long ago I heard someone say "it is what it is” and the familiar phrase hit me a little strange and I thought to myself–yes, “it is what it is”–but how do I react to the “it"? Can I change the "it"?

I can sit back and say “it is what it is” and there’s nothing I can do to change the “it” and for much–that is true. But the “it” of helping others who are hurting or in need--that’s simply not true.  I can change by praying more in faith--speaking more kind words, being more empathetic, listening more, and being A LOT less judgmental.

Recently my family was told by a medical team that one of our family members–more than likely had cancer. Ninety-percent sure to be exact, it was cancer–ten percent sure it was not.  

And then we received the phone call from the oncologist. 'No cancer,' he said. 'No cancer.' 

Ten-percent is a big number. 

The “it”--the no cancer diagnosis–I didn’t change that. I couldn't. Only God can do that.  But I do know many were praying in faith, and prayer can change the outcome of the worst of days. 

She’s middle-age–according to society and heading into her retirement years– and she loves flowers–so much so, she wanted to become a flower farmer. ‘I’m too old to start a new career,’ she told herself. But then she realized if she kept that narrative–that would be her story.  I want myself to know it’s an okay thing to want.’ And today, she blesses others with the flowers from her garden because she changed her outlook--her reaction to the “it" of "can't" to “I’ll try.” 

Author Sarah Clarkson spoke of another author, Wendell Berry–a farmer–novelist–an agrarian writer. And his book, Hannah Coulter is a beautiful story of a simple housewife, farm woman, mother, and friend–a story of faith and love and grief and hardships and heartbreaks. Clarkson goes on to say, ‘I will read this book over and over again. It’s one of my favorites.  It teaches us, we can change our world by our faithfulness.’

And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you,

If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain,

Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

Matthew 17:20

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Please continue to pray for all of those affected by Hurricane Helene and Hurricane Milton. The needs are great and will be for months and years to come. Please give as you can--as God leads you to give.

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encourage as we walk through this--

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All photos copyright @Tathel Miller unless otherwise credited.